9:32pm

Going to bed hungry tonight! I managed not to over-eat today and I'm pretty proud of myself?? I did not stay within my goal of 400, but I only went a little over 800, and honestly as long as I'm under 1,000 calories each day, I think I'm doing alright. I have work in the morning, so I'll be able to avoid any morning binges. My main goal right now is just to get used to eating less again, because I've just been letting myself gorge whenever I wanted to and I've gotten used to over-eating a LOT. That's why I'm not being too hard on myself, like I usually had been in the past. I would see any calorie over my goal as an immense failure, and it always discouraged me and made me binge more. Trying to stay positive and taking things slow, hopefully this different approach will be beneficial in the long run. 

I would've been closer to 800 I think had I not had coffee with creamer, again, but like I said, I'm not super worried about liquid calories right now anyways so I'm a little more lenient with myself. I weighed in this morning at 183.2, so there was a small drop in numbers. It's all just water weight and normal bloating coming off though, I want to see results in the mirror more than on the scale. 

Food; 

Breakfast

- 2 eggs w/ tbs salsa - 180  

- low carb monster energy - 25 

Lunch 

- bread & cheese - 280 

Dinner 

- Easy mac & cheese cup - 220

- Sourdough slice - 105 

- Coffee - est. 90 

& like I mentioned in the last post, to prevent a binge, I chewed-and-spit a small bowl of pasta. I'm sure that added a little extra calories since well, you can't really spit all of the food out. So gross. I don't know if I'll ever do that again, it made me sick to my stomach and I'm not a fan of feeling nauseous. Tomorrow's goal is supposed to be 200 but.......I couldn't even do 400 so......we'll see