9:03pm

Alright so, counted calories, yes, stayed within my goal, no. I don't think I did outrageously horrid, but not as well as I would like. But again, trying not to discourage myself too much since it's just the beginning & I don't wanna make myself give up entirely. Really, I just had too much coffee and splurged on a beer with dinner. An extra light beer, mind you. But I would rather gorge on liquid calories than solid. Makes me feel a little less disgusting. 

I was really feeling the hunger pains after I got home from work this evening, since I hadn't had anything but caffeine really until then. Working makes it easier to not eat throughout most of the day. I'm worried about how I'll do tomorrow because I have the day off. I'll need to keep myself preoccupied with various things to stay away from food & stay distracted from hunger. Now I'm kind of grateful for the fact that I have very few days off, I wouldn't know what to do with myself and do nothing but binge. Hoping I'll be able to just chomp on ice all day & trick myself into thinking I'm eating. 

Stats are essentially exactly the same, as expected. Weighed in at exactly 186. I didn't expect to see any weight loss after one day. Hopefully my liquid cal splurges don't hurt me too much tomorrow. I need to get some diet soda. 

Food;

Breakfast - coffee with creamer - cals ?? Est. 105 

also binged on the last of my bag of chips, not good

Lunch - Zero Calorie Monster Energy - 0 cals

Snack - bread with cheese - 175 cals & more coffee - 90 cals

Dinner - 6oz Sirloin - Est. 340 cals - extra light beer - 148 cals 

My total was well over 600, calculated an estimated 1200 because of the morning binge & unneeded empty calories throughout. I like to over-estimate though rather than under, I feel like I'm lying to myself if I round the numbers down. Still going to continue tomorrow and try for a 400 goal. Trying to stay positive about it so I don't go into it already believing I'm gonna fail. Wish me luck, I suppose