Okay. a LOT is going on right now.
Basics:
Broke up with new boyfriend because ex boyfriend (not the one with the pictures) wanted me back. Ex boyfriend (with the pictures) got a new girlfriend and wouldn't tel me who. whatever. don't care. His new girlfriend starts texting me and is like I'm not dating him. I don't know what he's talking about, He's lying, and he's like, I'm not lying, she just doesn't want you to know we're together. blahblahblah. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't lying. She was my friend and he liked her before me, and we're not really that close, so it's whatever. BUT, he's telling her I'm talking all this shit about her, when I'm not, so I tell her about the blackmail with the pictures thing. She seems upset to me, but he tells me she didn't care and whatever. then I tell him that she's bulimic and he's like yeah I know. I don't care. WTF??? I told him about my eating disorder and he flipped a bitch. He was like, I'm not going to try to change people anymore. UHHHHH. you couldn't have realized this like eight fucking months ago?? but whatever. I'm over it. I'm done with all their lies and drama. I don't care if she's lying. She's fat anyways.
But more about my boyfriend situation. A few days after I got with my boyfriend, let's call him joe, my ex, ex boyfriend, let's call him adam, messages me and says he still loves me, and he wants me back blahblah. And it had been almost a year since we had broken up. and I still really care about him and we hung out today. AND I didn't really think me and joe were going anywhere. He does a lot of drugs and I rarely see him, so I'm not into that. So now me and adam are back together and I'm pretty happy about that. OH. and he's like major thinspo for me. He's like a twig and waaay tinier than me. I can't let that stay. I want to be smaller than him, so I'm working extra hard to shed my fat.
Intake today:
1 cup of mac&cheese
1 popsicle
and I'm pretty sure that's it. except a couple pices of gum and some tea.
sorry about the shitty cal. report again :p
xoxo
The content here will be triggering! It is at your own risk if you choose to continue reading. This blog's focus is eating disorders, weight loss, calorie restriction, and diets. I am not recovered or in recovery, so I suggest that if you are or you're sensitive to any of these topics, leave this blog.
4 comments:
Sounds crazy! Hold on. <3
wowww! hun youve had alot of stuf going on! the whole crazy shit about your ex and your friend/his new girl is sooo...just sounds fucking crazy and busy! O.O that bit about her being bulimic and him not caring and not wanting to try to change people anymore but cared about your ED when you were together is fucked up!
im glad you got back with your ex ex bloyfriend though. you sound happy about it im glad! ^__^ i totally agree, having a boyfriend/friend be smaller and thinner than you is great thinspo! makes for good determination =) keep strong!
Crazy times! Stay strong and yay for getting back with your ex ex :-) x
wow crazy shit damn
just keep ur head up hun
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