I have been avoiding the kitchen this morning because most of my binges are in the morning. I don't know why, but I can eat like 10 pounds of food in the morning. So today I'm not leaving this room until 1pm. Then I won' be as hungry, and won't binge. I'm still not quite comfortable in my bikini. I have a ways to go.
And it's killing me not having a scale. I have no idea what I'm at, I can't see if I've reached goals. I have no way of making progress, basically. Maybe I'll buy my own. Without my parents knowing. They'd think something was wrong..
But I might be going to see my old friends in my home town today. I'm excited (: and pretty proud of myself for talking her out of going to lunch.
Anyways, no morning binge today. it's already noon, so I'm in the clear. I rarely binge in the afternoon, or at night. Well I had a night binge yesterday because me and boyfriend almost broke up. I was the one doing the breaking up and I still was depressed. But we're good today. For now. I told him if the fighting between us doesn't decrease, then we're done. I can't handle all the fighting. It's stressful.
Hopefully I don't have to do anything that hurts him. But I feel like we're going nowhere.
But anyways, I hope everyone has a beautiful day<3
stay strong!
xoxo
The content here will be triggering! It is at your own risk if you choose to continue reading. This blog's focus is eating disorders, weight loss, calorie restriction, and diets. I am not recovered or in recovery, so I suggest that if you are or you're sensitive to any of these topics, leave this blog.
2 comments:
Aww sweetie, I really hope thing start getting great with you and your boo. Relationships are weird in the way they affect us as far as eating goes.
i must admit im a night binger, prolly due to the fact i stay up until about 7am then go to bed until 'round noon or later..bad habit.
eexpecially since, eating later in the day is the worst.
scales are incredible tools, idk where id be without mine, i check it about 8 times a day. idk y lol. but i can only imagine how ya feel without one D:
if ya see the old friends have a great time.
much love\
mADZAQ
thanks babydoll<3
love your support :)
My relationship is good still, but messing with me a little. We'll see how things go.
And I'd rather be a night binger. at least I'd have the thought of accomplishing the whole day :p
And I'm planning on buying a scale...soon. When I get money and all that. I have a loooong list of "to do's"
stay strong!
xoxo
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