Thank youu, fucked up stomach!

I'm so glad my stomach rejects meat, because today would've been a horrible binge. My mother also has a meat problem, when she eats red meat, such as pork or beef, her stomach basically gets rid of it, and mine does the same. It makes me so sick, that I just became a vegetarian. I did this about 8 months ago.
Anyways, today was good. I barely had anything to eat and dance was like always, abs, butt, cardio. I'm still really sore and could barely stretch today. Gah, I really need to work on my calorie counting. That reminds me! I found this website and you can put like any food in it and it tells you all the nutrition facts! It's amazing! I'll post the link at the bottom of this post<3
So, is anyone else as excited as I am for winter to come along? (: I love the cold weather. It brings me less binges for some reason. ALTHOUGH, it is the holiday season :| That means lots of family and food for christmas and thanksgiving and such. But I don't like any of the food at those holidays, so I always just eat macaroni. Pies and cakes and things don't really affect me. I don't like sweets much. Especially chocolate, it makes my throat burn. anyways, here's that site I was talking about <3

calorieconnect.com

xoxo

hearts burst open, wounds bleed fresh.

I've been working out quite a bit recently. And we've begun our audition piece in dance. I really hope I make it. The dance is to the song 'Dancing in the dark' by lady gaga. I love her (: And the dance is fast paced and really works your legs. My thighs are so sore! Have you noticed my fabulously simple new page? I think it's a keeper.
Anyways, I haven't really been able to get on a scale, but my jeans don't liee ;) I'm looking better everyday. But it's never enough. I strive for perfect, but do I really know what perfect is? How will I know when I get there if I'm always wanting more? It's like I'll never be skinny enough in my eyes. Like the mirror adds on 20 pounds and I just feel the need to shed more and more off until it's all gone. Until I'm gone. And that scares me the most. I try not to think that way, but I can't help it. It's always on my mind. I'm always looking for something to fix on myself. I'm just glad I have you guys here with me. It's good to think that someone out there feels the same and is listening to me. You're the ones keeping me alive<3

xoxo

Real name.

I've decided to start using my real name on here. (if you hadn't noticed, I'm morgan.) I don't really know why, I just don't see the harm in it. I may begin to post pictures of myself here once I get my new phone. Which should be within the week. and if I get my ipod back, I'm going to start running on weekend mornings and I'll be on here a lot more often and you'll get more posts from me. So things are going to get much better (: I've also began to get a better relationship with my mother. She and I have been getting along, and let's just hope it stays that way. Now I just need to get over the fear of my step dad and I'll be able to mend my relationship with him.
But anyways, there hasn't been much going on. I've been slacking a little and my grades are beginning to drop. But when I say slacking, I mean laying off my diet. which is bad. And I'm starting to lose focus. buuuuuut! I'm only going to be optimistic and no matter what happens, I'm going to be happy. And hopefully I'll be able to convince myself of that.
So, do any of you watch the show If You Really Knew Me? It's a show on mtv and I think it's like, life changing. It's very inspiring and makes me cry everytime. aha.
So yeah, you should check it out. It's on every tuesday at 11pm. (:
I hope you're all doing well! I'll be reading posts soon!
love you, babydolls<3
xoxo

3 days

For the past three days, I've been doing really well. I've been preoccupied, working out, and barely eating. I'm not really seeing any results yet though :/ I haven't been on the scale in a while, so I can't tell whether I've lost or not. But I'll weigh in soon and let you guys know.
and I haven't been able to read any posts by you guys, so tell me what's been going down since the last time I posted (:
love you guys<3
stay strong, babydolls!

xoxo

Oh I've missed you!

School has gotten the best of me, so my posts will become scarce. I'll try to post short updates as often as possible, but it's hard, guys! :/
update!
We started exercising and stretching in dance. so I'm sore like all the time now! I'll get used to it :p
I also got a "looks like you've lossed weight" comment! I was so proud (:
I need to work harder though. I'm not hungry often enough :p
well I've got to run!
I hope everyone is doing fabulous!
I love you, babydolls!
xoxo